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…and you wonder why I don’t trust people?
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WHAT WILL MY PARENTS DO WHEN THEY FIND OUT I FAILED ALL MY EXAMS???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Fuck, IB results come out on Tuesday, and already I can feel the anticipation growing. IF ONLY I was like other people in my school who have already gotten accepted to colleges, and for whom the results don’t really matterrrr. But nooooo for me, everything depends on those retarded numbers.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if my parents weren’t mentioning it more and more. Shit, I just know I did badly, especially because I ended up cramming everything the night before exams. Aaaaaaaah please dear examiners, please take mercy on this poor girl….
WHAT WILL MY PARENTS DO WHEN THEY FIND OUT I FAILED ALL MY EXAMS???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Fuck, IB results come out on Tuesday, and already I can feel the anticipation growing. IF ONLY I was like other people in my school who have already gotten accepted to colleges, and for whom the results don’t really matterrrr. But nooooo for me, everything depends on those retarded numbers.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if my parents weren’t mentioning it more and more. Shit, I just know I did badly, especially because I ended up cramming everything the night before exams. Aaaaaaaah please dear examiners, please take mercy on this poor girl….
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I can now barely walk.
I can now barely walk.
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Dear Dad,
I’m sorry, but how the FUCK do you know if I’m adequate enough to survive on my own? You don’t know anything about my life. You don’t know how many obstacles I’ve overcome on my own. You don’t even care. In school, you never asked how my subjects were going, or how I felt about my teachers, or how I was getting on with my classmates. All you cared about was whether I got As or not, and if I didn’t, I was this huge disappointment in your eyes, and you never bothered hiding it. If I did turn out to be some nervous wreck with no confidence, it wouldn’t actually be a surprise, because as far as I remember, I’ve never heard a word of encouragement come from your lips. I drove myself, so that I wouldn’t disappoint you, but no matter how good I was, to you I always fell short. How am I supposed to feel when you say you have no trust, no faith me? You don’t even KNOW me.
So tell me, is this about my self-confidence, or your confidence in me? Is this about my future, or the failures of your own life rubbing of me? Why can you not understand that preparation isn’t everything? Can’t you see how hypocritical I find you, when you accuse me of not being independent, yet when you’re so obviously reluctant to let me out of your shadow? So what am I supposed to do? Do you have any idea how trapped, how frustrated I feel? Man, sometimes I think this is all gonna burst out of me and I’ll end up walking out of this place or something.
From your daughter, who is letting it all out here instead of saying this to you because whenever she has tried to speak, you never tried to understand.
P.S. She loves you despite how much you put her down, but the sad thing is, your love is conditional based only upon her perfection.
Dear Dad,
I’m sorry, but how the FUCK do you know if I’m adequate enough to survive on my own? You don’t know anything about my life. You don’t know how many obstacles I’ve overcome on my own. You don’t even care. In school, you never asked how my subjects were going, or how I felt about my teachers, or how I was getting on with my classmates. All you cared about was whether I got As or not, and if I didn’t, I was this huge disappointment in your eyes, and you never bothered hiding it. If I did turn out to be some nervous wreck with no confidence, it wouldn’t actually be a surprise, because as far as I remember, I’ve never heard a word of encouragement come from your lips. I drove myself, so that I wouldn’t disappoint you, but no matter how good I was, to you I always fell short. How am I supposed to feel when you say you have no trust, no faith me? You don’t even KNOW me.
So tell me, is this about my self-confidence, or your confidence in me? Is this about my future, or the failures of your own life rubbing of me? Why can you not understand that preparation isn’t everything? Can’t you see how hypocritical I find you, when you accuse me of not being independent, yet when you’re so obviously reluctant to let me out of your shadow? So what am I supposed to do? Do you have any idea how trapped, how frustrated I feel? Man, sometimes I think this is all gonna burst out of me and I’ll end up walking out of this place or something.
From your daughter, who is letting it all out here instead of saying this to you because whenever she has tried to speak, you never tried to understand.
P.S. She loves you despite how much you put her down, but the sad thing is, your love is conditional based only upon her perfection.
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Just because I forgive doesn’t mean I forget. secretaffair:
(via raindropsonredroses)
Just because I forgive doesn’t mean I forget.
(via raindropsonredroses)
